When something’s bothering them, they want your ear, not your advice. “Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented,” says Kirschner. “But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship.”
And once you’re warmed up and in the dirty talking mindset, let yourself really start having fun by improvising your own lines. This one stage is where dirty talking is the most powerful. Introducing it at this point will rocket the tension and anticipation sky high, and cruise at altitude for the rest of the session. The excitement you had from the first handful of times you had sex will often rush back in and rekindle your passionate fires.
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“Sharing our desires can help strengthen intimate bonds and trust,” says Nugent. There are plenty of lists online there with sexy phrases you can use during sex to up the dirty talk. But aside from the fact that you might get stage fright and struggle to remember them in the heat of the moment, if such phrases feel unnatural or forced, they’re likely not going to feel sexy. Instead, think of a way of saying it that makes you feel a little more you.
That means calling them a bitch, slut, whore, etc. Well, try to stay away from that even if you like it – especially if you don’t know the guy that well who you are talking dirty with. If you’re not with each other at the moment, then talking dirty to a guy over text is a great way to get him thinking about you. Everyone wants to have a satisfying sex life, right? Well, you’ll never achieve that if your lover doesn’t do the things you like and you’re too afraid to speak up about it. Corner your new guy while you’re out at a party and whisper, “The bathroom downstairs is unoccupied,” with a flirty grin.
Plus, you have more time to think about what you want to say and reply. If this is your first-time dirty talking to your man then we understand why you’re nervous. The single best way to start with dirty talk is to just tell your guy that what he’s doing feels good.